TALWAAR AUR SALWAAR
Banta to Santa : “Talwaar aur Salwaar mein kya samaanta hai” ?
Santa : Dono ke khulne par Aadmi ghayal ho jata hai !!
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FAUJI TE MAJH
Girl to Attro : "Ma, fauji aa raha hai."
Attro : “Andar ho ja, inha di nazar kharaab hundi hai."
Girl: “Ma, fauji ta Sardaar hai."
Attro : "Phir te Majh noo wee andar kar lay."
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SHADI SIRF RISHTE MEE
Santi to Santa : Will u marry me ?
Santa : No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai.
Mummy ne Papa se shaadi ki thi, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se !!!
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CRICKETER & CONDOM
Santa to Banta : What is the difference between the Indian Cricketer & Condom ?
Banta : Cricketer drops the catch and condom catches the drop !!!!!
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SANDWICH LOGE
A girl selling SANDWICH on the beach in Goa, asked Santa Singh,
"Sardar ji, sandwich loge ?"
Santa replied, “O, kamliye sand wich kyon ?,
Room wich kyon nahi ?"
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WEAKNESS BY SEX
Attro : “Doctor, I feel very weak."
Doctor : “How many times do you have sex in a week ?"
Attro : “5 times, Mondat to Friday."
Doctor: “Cut down Wednesday."
Attro : “But that’s the only day I am with my husband !”
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KHUD PAKADNA PADTA HAI
Santa was urinating beside a car. A foreigner said
to him “Aapke Yahan Police Nahin Pakadhti ?"
Santa replied, “Nahin Hamaare Yahan Khud Pakadna Padta Hai !"
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SHER DA PUTTAR
Santa to Banta: Mujse panga na le, main sher da puttar haan!
Banta: Yaar, ek baat bataa, sher ghar aaya see ya aunty jungle gayi see……
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KAVI DI SUHAGRAAT
Kavi 2 wife at suhagraat: Ji karda e tere walan nu sehlawan, tere tikke de sadke jawan,
Tere jhumke nal jhool jawan, tere……………..continues so long
Wife after long waiting: kuch karoge ke kise hor nu bulawan !
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WAY OF THINKING
Teacher to Santa: If there were 5 birds on a fence and you shot one, then how many are left there ?
Santa: None, as others will fly away.
Teacher: The answer is 4 but i like the way you think.
Santa questions madam: If 3 women are eating ice-cream, one is licking, one biting and one sucking, which one is married ?
Teacher (in sweat and nervousness): Well, the one sucking the cone.
Santa: No, you are wrong. The one with wedding ring on her finger but I like the way you think madam.
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SHOLEY DA DIALOG
Banta to Santa: Yaar, sholey film da dialog apne andaj wich bol.
Santa: Door – door gaon meinraat ko jab maa-baap sote nahin to bachhe kehte hain: so jao maa, nahi to ek bachha aur aa jayega !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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BEGGERS‘S LOVE
Begger to women sitting on a bench: Come honey, let us make love !
Women: Angrily slaps him & says I am not a cheap slut!
Begger: Then what are doing on my bed.
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SANTA IN LOVE
Santa apni girl friend ko: “i love you” kehta hai gir jata hai, fir “i love you” kehta hai aur gir jata hai…fir kehta aur…….
Girl: yeh kya kar rahe ho.
Santa: I am falling in love…………………..
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SANSKRIT NAME OF CONDOM
Do you know the Sanskrit name of condom ?
It is called “veeriya rodhak tel yukat prajanan virodhi ling vastra” !!!!!!
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HANUMAAN KAUN SEE
Teacher to student: Hanuman kaun see?
Student: Madam, Hanuman jattan da munda see.
Madam: Tusi kis trah keh ditta?
Student: Madam ji, Hanu us da naam see ate Maan usda sir name (gotra) see. Oh kam ve jattan wale karda see. Janani kise di, chak ke koi lai gay ate punch apni nu agg lawai firda see…!!!!
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CHILDREN DAY
Santa: Why Children Day is celebrated only at 14th November ?
Banta: Because it comes exactly after nine months from Valentine’s Day.!!! (14 Feb-14Nov.)
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ADAMI AUR BHAGWAN
Adami Bhagwan se : 100 saal apke liye hai ?
God: 100 saal mere liye 1 second ke brabr hai.
Man: 1 crore rupee ?
God: 1 coin.
Man: Aap 1 coin mujhe de do ?
God: 1 second ruk jao !!!!!!!!
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GADHA AUR LADKI
Gadha saathi Gadhe ko: Yaar mera malik mujhe bahut maarta hai.
Doosra Gadha: To tub hag kyo nahi jata ?
Pehla Gadha: Bhag to jaaun par vahan future bahut bright hai. Malik ki khubsurat beti jab sharat karti hai to vo usko gadhi kehta hai aur kehta hai teri shadi kise gadhe se hi karunga. Bus isi umeed pe baitha hoon !!!!
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DUDH AUR KATTA
Santa: Yaar sadi madam kehndi se ki majh da dudh peen naal dimag tej ho jaanda.
Banta: Gapp mardi aa. Je eh gal hundi ta apna katta scientist na hunda !!!!!
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KALA BULB
Atro to shopkeeper: Black colour ka bulb do.
Shopkeeper: kaha lagana hai ?
Atro: Dopaher ko andhera karke husband ke saath sone ke liye !!!!!
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COMPLETE & FINISH
Teacher: What is the difference between “complete and finish” ?
Student: When you marry the person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!!!!!
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WHAT MEANS S….X
Teacher: What words starts with “S” and ends with “X”. It has lot of ups and down movements.
Students: bow their heads in ashame and continue thinking that madam…….
Madam: I know what are you thinking. The right answer is SENSEX !!!!!!!
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PANDIT & RISHTA
Ldkiwale Pandit ko: Hame aisa ladka chahye jo kuch khata peeta na ho ?
Pandit: Aisa ladka to phir PGI emergency main milega…!!!!!!!!
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SANTA & LADKI
Santa pulls a girl into a room, locks the door, puts off the light, pulls her to the bed, drags her into the blanket and said: dekho meri new radium watch chamkati hai na..!!!!
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